Enjoying my self-control with my Mind!
A chance reading of my mail box caught my attention this morning. Random mails are something I do not even bother to spend time with not because of paucity of time, but because I have consciously started prioritizing the tasks with my available time. Time spent on frivolous activity then leads to more of an irritation build-up later on. But this particular mail had something really interesting. So, I clicked on it and ended up reading the full article and chancing upon info regarding a new book which I thought was lovely for people to know about.
I have always broken my anxiety pattern with my thought-process and reaction sequence change. This article seems to almost put sense into my ‘patterns’ which is what this book says. I believe Dr. Judson Brewer is a habit expert. I have since heard a few of his TED MED talks and simplistically put: Uncommonly about common sense & being aware. Loved it!! I guess those of us who want to master our mind, should pick up this book for it seems to get to the tips of breaking the anxiety pattern only much later; it tells us how to be become aware and curious about our thinking and actions first and break that habit. I plan to get my copy soon.
It is nice to have hobbies and to be able to immerse yourself in them so that one can deal with thoughts, ideas, feelings and more. I use my writing and my baking time to deal with my stress and anxieties because there happens to be something or the other which bothers one. From trivial things like a few missing HK staff to the more complicated ones of a sick pet or an annoying one of some delivery guy misbehaving or a difference of opinion with people at home – the brain tends to work itself up – nee, I do when my brain tells me to start that kind of pattern. I use my own techniques to reach some mindfulness about its futility and train myself to let go. Forget it! is what I would often hear myself say towards the end; Now it is right in the beginning!
(Incidentally, this last paragraph has had me think of why a few hours into my morning routine today, I had found myself flustered and how I consciously avoided the spiraling pattern of descent with my feelings of frustration and anger. Asking myself a simple question: What will not happen now that this has fallen apart today – was all I needed to get my answer: Nothing, except a few extra minutes of time being wasted. And yet I finished my work almost as usual and the rest of the work happened on schedule too.)
I let go of many things these days and believe me that I find myself in such a better space and frame of mind.
My hubby pottering around Uncle Podger style with his drill or his files – I get someone to help him and then forget it. The mess, if created is then sorted out by them, themselves. A few inputs towards the end does not rattle your sense of immaculate cleanliness requirement.
My son complaining about something he did not find – if not critical for his study/health/safety, I let him deal with the mess in his room (zero tolerance for it in my work space and room, though! Then all the patience just evaporates!!)
My so-called expert gardener wanting extra explanation about instructions as simple as watering the plants – I leave the situation with an ultimatum that my plants should not die/wilt/wither away. All else is for you to figure out. I have a well-watered garden and hydrated plants when I walk out in the evening.
My driver when he calls to say he has not been able to locate a shop or get me something I asked for, I inform him that it would definitely be available in Hyderabad (the city where I reside, in the Southern Indian state of Telangana), so he can start to look for it. (Would be exasperating especially since he has been for a similar errand before…) But Voila! miraculously, we are able to locate shop, lock, stock, barrel!!
In all cases, I kept my mental state in equilibrium. Consciously avoiding the pattern.