Much before ‘bucket lists’ came into vogue, I had my diary list. As a teenager who was growing up, not awkwardly but fully aware of my environments, I made many relationship mistakes. Now, now, there is no need to get excited about this much maligned word: ‘relationship’ as used here by me, for it can denote any ‘relationship’. Being an active current learner, all my faux pas led me to avoid making those again. Learnings in themsleves are remarkable lessons in emotional depth and self-evaluation skills. We have all grown up hearing what all we should do, how this or that should be done, what is to be done in relationships of family and friends and all human beings, whichever role they may appear in our lives. But in the cacophony of the ‘rights’ that we are supposed to do, we often neglect making lists of the ‘wrongs’ to be avoided at all costs. Schoolings in what should not be done seemed more important for me as an individual to keep in mind, knotted securely so that years on as and whenever I encountered something similar, I would remember what I should not be doing. There could be many ‘right’ ways of doing things. My learnings!
My bucket list, thus does not include ……
- Being infinitely nice to toxic people – my mental health is mine to protect. Negativity fuels a vicious circle of morbidity; I avoid it like the plague.
- Moping indefinitely about anything that has ceased to be – my peace of mind is not negotiable. I know I am only indispensable to my immediate family, for all else I am just another passenger next to them; I avoid sulking and forgive but never forget.
- Crying over spilt milk – I encounter a problem and instead of brooding over it, I set out to find solutions to relieve myself and incase others are involved, relief for them as well from the chaos; I choose controlled action over irrelevant ranting.
- Postponing decisions just because they are difficult to make – I seize the bull by the horns, literally. A festering wound gets difficult to treat if left for long, so I make corrective choices; I resolutely act and shoulder the responsibility for a decision’s failure, leaving others to savor its success.
- Stealing the limelight and blowing my trumpet for anything that was a collective effort – if ideas and fresh perspectives are to be kept to ourselves, then the desire and want to be leaders should be discarded. Someone somewhere gave me a push too, a chance so that I could achieve so much; I never shy away from giving credit where it is due and being opportunist is not in my genes. (Stole the limelight only for my two books but gave due credit to those who made it all happen)
- Being apologetic for who I am – Weird? Snooty? Condescending? Haughty? Overoptimistic? Naïve? Not street smart? I could not care less for the opinions of others. One is a product of one’s genes and one’s environment. Then again many get the same environment and imbibe nothing from it. My genes are a God’s gift (so thank you Dear Almighty) but absorbing from my environment was my ability and skill; I am forthright about my views, bold enough to express my thoughts and unapologetic about being limited edition.
- Being the suffering, sacrificing ‘nari’ (= woman), unable to stand-up for my self-respect – I can do all that any other gender can do and more. I care more than anyone can for my family and friends. My commitment to my profession is as strong as anyone else who works professionally. Yet I keep the choice of exercising my choices with myself. I am respected because I give no one the right to do it any other way. I form opinions and hold my own because I have equal rights like all others; I am brazenly obvious about being ME!
- Continuing with decaying, revolting, superfluous and upsetting traditions/processes – what I endured anywhere, in any role during my life and if I did not like it – I shall not do it anywhere, to anyone and refuse to continue doing it in my life too; I am the crafter of my own rules, my own future, a mindful life artisan.