From the just ahead post, should come this logical one too. All who are probably reading that one, would be wondering if I was this, then why wasn’t I that?
Well, even if they didn’t get that question in their minds, I did. That’s the advantage of being a bit wonky – I end up doing things which most others would look for a ‘right’ time for, while with my kind of crazy I always rush in where even angels fear to tread!
The credit for being my kind of crazy, I could very intelligently and tactfully lay on the responsible shoulders of some awesome, sensible people. Apart from my family which cannot exercise the choice of being or not being in my life, at least not in this lifetime; the others always had that choice. Some wisely exercised that choice and moved away, for being in my bubble of crazy and awesomeness, I wouldn’t have let them in anyways! Others who preferred to stay on and love me, I can only show gratitude. I acknowledge their presence in my life through words which mean I value them, as in my last Blog.
I was never thought off to possess worldly wise wisdom. I was at any given time, all or some of the following:
- Dracula parent
- Fussy woman
- Stuck-up teacher
- Ms. Know all
- Here comes Madam Gandhiji
- Tough task master
- No nonsense teacher
- Extremely proud
- Too full of herself and so on.
I was discussed behind my back because I mattered. And I figured this out quite early on in my life. Moreover, being a nonconformist, fast-learning human being, I put corrective actions in place instantly with my behaviour. Instead, of feeling pulled-down by constant whispers behind my back, I revelled in the fact that my presence harried people, shook them up, rattled them, scared them and had them literally plan an all-out offensive along enemy lines.
We were forever in a state war – me, by being myself and the rest of ‘that world’ which found me intimidating.
It was fun after the initial years. I loved to see people squirm with discomfort at my thoughts, be aghast when I had different views from the majority & expressed it, snigger when they couldn’t match my diligence at work, tattle-tale half-truths to the powers that were and all along think that they were winning.
At all such points in my life, I threw in my towel and conceded defeat.
It’s actually very difficult to match-up to the highest standards of egoism, selfishness, self-absorption, vanity.
I preferred what ‘that world’ perceived as defeat.
And to great results, for I preferred the cosy space of crazy where there’s an abundance of positive thoughts, real people, hordes of humour, lots of love and a family which asks me to take the chill pill and yet loves me like another crazy & friends who feel I can do no wrong.
What more could I ever want? Nothing.
I prefer crazy, I prefer mad-hatter-ism, I prefer ME-ism.