Today I remember the days gone by
I remember the times when my house was full
Of the patter of footsteps & my own loud voice
As I spoke incessantly chiding or correcting.
There forever seemed some task which was left
Some schoolwork not completed
Some class about to happen
Some teacher walking in!
There were the days when I had my plans
To do a Rangoli with flowers
From a design which would be mixed & matched
The shopping for accessories would have taken some time.
Then there were the hampers for friends
Done with sweets and goodies and cards
All of which I made at home myself
Then sent them with yet another plan to reach them on time.
There were the days which were as busy as they are now
As hectic as time can be
I never had time to dwell on silly things
Not worry about anything at all.
It stays that way today too,
I am out early and come back late,
I create, plan and teach all in one day
I manage my home and keep it immaculate still.
I have all the same friends and some new ones too,
All love me and care and remember me as before
We all are busy with something in our lives
Yet there seems to be a difference somewhere, no doubt.
I looked back today as I do often now
To find out what it was that I did then and don’t do now
I realized I do everything still as always
But its just that my attention has got divided now.
I have three homes and three places to go to,
Which in a way is great some would say?
It allows me a choice and scope to explore and meet
And allows me to innovate more than before.
Yet I feel there’s something amiss
Its not just about your little one flying the coop,
Its about the other phase in your life
Where you are in a hurry to make your wisdom work.
Its about gaining the foresight to look beyond one’s ego
To be able to have a view which keeps the wide-angle lens on,
Its about wanting to make people understand
The futility of doing things without a meaningful goal.
The restlessness comes from an urgency to change
Something which you know you cannot,
Because you are smart enough to grasp that the world doesn’t care
And your work’s impact will be lost the minute you disappear.
To know that your impressions will not be cast in stone
Your ideas would inspire people only after your gone,
That you will be missed when you aren’t there anymore
Makes one want to disappear now, if that makes an impact!
Thus, remembering and reminiscing of the days gone by
I realize the restlessness comes from my prudence
Of knowing that the impact of a person’s presence
Comes not from the presence but their absence!!
And that’s not such a happy thought, even for an optimist like me!