From the just ahead post, should come this logical one too. All who are probably reading that one, would be wondering if I was this, then why wasn’t I that?
Well, even if they didn’t get that question in their minds, I did. That’s the advantage of being a bit wonky – I end up doing things which most others would look for a ‘right’ time for, while with my kind of crazy I always rush in where even angels fear to tread!
The credit for being my kind of crazy, I could very intelligently and tactfully lay on the responsible shoulders of some awesome, sensible people, some 8 hours ago. Apart from my family which cannot exercise the choice of being or not being in my life, at least not in this lifetime; the others always had that choice. Some wisely exercised that choice and moved away, for being in my bubble of crazy and awesomeness, I wouldn’t have let them in anyways! Others who preferred to stay on and love me, I can only show gratitude. I acknowledge their presence in my life through words which mean, I value them, as in my last Blog.
I was never thought of to possess worldly wise wisdom. I was at any given time, all or some of the following:
- Dracula parent
- Fussy woman
- Stuck-up teacher
- Ms. Know all
- Here comes Madam Gandhiji
- Tough task master
- No nonsense teacher
- Extremely proud
- Too full of herself and so on.
I was discussed behind my back because I mattered.
And I figured this out quite early on in my life. Moreover, being a nonconformist, fast-learning human being, I put corrective actions in place instantly with my behaviour. Instead, of feeling pulled-down by constant whispers behind my back, I revelled in the fact that my presence harried people, shook them up, rattled them, scared them and had them literally plan an all-out offensive along enemy lines.
We were forever in a state war – me, by being myself and the rest of ‘that world’ which found me intimidating.
It was fun after the initial years. I loved to see people squirm with discomfort at my thoughts, be aghast when I had different views from the majority & expressed it, snigger when they couldn’t match my diligence at work, tattle-tale half-truths to the powers that were and all along think that they were winning.
At all such points in my life, I threw in my towel and conceded defeat.
It’s actually very difficult to match-up to the highest standards of egoism, selfishness, self-absorption, vanity.
I preferred what ‘that world’ perceived as defeat.
And to great results, for I preferred the cosy space of crazy where there’s an abundance of positive thoughts, real people, hordes of humour, lots of love and a family which asks me to take the chill pill and yet loves me like another crazy & friends who feel I can do no wrong.
What more could I ever want? Nothing.
I prefer crazy, I prefer mad-hatter-ism, I prefer ME-ism.