So, insignificant yet so full of ourselves….
I sat this evening exhausted after a generally hectic day. My mood wasn’t its optimal either. A series of routine events had been messed up by a few people who were part of my skeletal staff, through the morning.
A sudden downpour had drenched my birds.
A careless work attitude had left my bunny utensils half cleaned from a full cycle of the dishwasher.
The callousness is evident everywhere in everything I see people do these days. But I have started to get used to these attitudes and thus eliminate interference from outside forces in my own personal routine.
The downside of this remains the fact that I keep busy. Very busy. Yet no issues on that. At least I have zero time to dwell or mope on frivolous things. In such a background my thoughts wandered towards what we always feel and think about ourselves.
We are so full of ourselves. We think the world, or our vicinity will stop still incase we do not do or stop being. Our sense of importance in the whole scheme of things in this world is based on the presumption that we are ‘the’ most important people around.
“If I don’t do this…this will happen.” “If I don’t this…that will happen.” Well, friend let me let you know, nothing will happen.
A few days maybe people will speak about it. Will dwell on it. Gossip about it maybe. Will feel sorry about it. That’s it.
Done and over with.
Your work or feeling of importance is yours to feel good about. Note – for ‘you’ to feel good about. Others may or may not agree. It may be important because ‘you’ think so. For someone else, it may not even be significant.
Today as I decided to do almost all my chores myself including the cages of my bunnies in the evening. The work seemed so significantly symbolic to me that because I did not find the cleanliness up to a certain standard of expectation which I have, I decided to take up the task myself. After a laborious hour and a half, as my motley staff walked in, they did not even bat an eyelid. There wasn’t anyone else who would have understood its importance either. My son is away, and my hubby keeps too busy to be bothered about such insignificant happenings.
So, the only person left to understand its importance – of the work done myself was MYSELF.
Which is where my thoughts come from.
This also got me to another quite practical thought process; I heard a dear old lady say to me the other day. She was ruing the fact that she must do what she has been doing for ages, every time with no respite (it’s her profession and often merges with the personal) that she gets fed up and wants to not have to do it thus. Sometimes, the overwhelming feeling is so strong she told me that she wants to drop everything and stop. I readily agreed and told her that often I feel the same.
To which she very prudently said: “But don’t we know that already? When we do and its part of our destiny then should we lament thus?”, she asked me. “Or should we carry on with fortitude and a happy heart and a spring in our step because when there isn’t a way out, why seek one”, she reasoned.
I stopped in my tracks and looked at her with a renewed respect. With my yard long degrees and years of jurisprudence at being on top of what I do, it took a diminutive, homely, and simple lady to put things in perspective for me?
Shame on me I thought to myself then. Shame on me I thought again this evening as I had these irritating thoughts.
I did what I did today because I felt it to be the right way to deal with callousness by helping, support staff and I cannot afford to endanger the health & wellbeing of my pets.
I do what I do in my professional and personal life because I want to do it that way, on my terms, and then the quantity or quantum of work is for my satisfaction and happiness.
Why do I want it endorsed by others?
Well, stupid me!