Do we have phases? Do we grow up?

Well spent time is important. Routines are too. Everyday as I end my routines, I think and reflect back on what I could have done better. For starters, it boils down to not giving myself time. Doing for all others is taxing. Doing it for oneself is an art. I have not perfected that as yet. Oft that gets me to ponder on the reasons why I am thus. All these core values and this righteous thinking is something I have lived, eaten, spoken about, walked the talk and done it all my life. It is not valued. Time and time again I have experienced it in my professional & personal life. Yet I continue to do it because I believe in it, deep inside. It is an integral part of who I am.

As I look at my young son, I often wonder if he would have or has picked up what I have tried to be and live all my life: A better me, every end of the day? I do not get too many answers equivocally because each moment of a child’s life and its every stage has its inherent thinking. And then I am left speechless and thrilled one day.

Why one would ask? Explanations or speeches do not make up every day routines of ordinary folks. They do not happen in any average person’s life – like me and many of you similar people out there. And there isn’t anything dramatic happening in our lives either everyday like making a million dollar decision which changed the lives of 1 million shareholders or strike a deal with a conglomerate for setting up the next big thing in the education sector. We make do with the ordinary and possess the skill to make it worth ‘extraordinary’. Thus, as he practises each day to better his techniques at his hobby-sport and as he strives hard to follow what is expected of him by his coach, I realize that yes! Yes of course, my son has a little of me. The training is tough and requires him to be aware of a million things as he hones his techniques, learns to keep calm and concentrate on shooting a bulls-eye & a perfect 10 each time yet he remains respectful and open to learning.

Age is a very funny and deceptive attribute. It lulls us into thinking we can be movers and shakers. It goads us to be tyrant and rebellious. It assumes we know everything about life whether we are a 10 year old, a 16 year old or a 50 year old. It gives us a false sense of being in the most important phase of our lives always. At every step it makes us believe that it is a milestone, an achievement.

What we actually forget is that age is a cunning chameleon and a ruthless teacher. It is smart as in really SMART – Securely Making All Responsible Thinkers! But it requires ‘US’ to have this realization on our own. It does not do it for us. Which is what makes ‘life’ complicated.

When we start off in life, we all begin with the same handicap: Starting fresh with a clean slate. As we move on in life, it is our different experiences, exposures, learnings, assumptions, insecurities, handicaps, which define what we make of our life into adulthood. If all along those formative years when we are absorbing everything around us and making ourselves with building blocks of emotions, feelings, knowledge and thoughts, we keep our innocence and honesty intact then we are better people. Steeling oneself against the emotional battering of a weird and ungrateful world is another armour we need to develop.

With every achievement, we can build ourselves up. With every fall, we batter ourselves. Yet after each of these falls, when we rise like a phoenix, we begin not at the start line but a wee bit ahead from a new line of ‘experience’. ‘Burnt fingers’ – can be called that too.

Setbacks = burnt fingers = experience = learning = better Me!

Keep the phases going. Keep the faith!