On a warm morning as I sat down with a cup of tea, the luxury of the few minutes in between my work seemed like bliss. It also got me thinking how was it that something so routine seemed such a luxury and what was it that made it thus. Looking back at what life had become now in the past few months, I realized that most of it may be my own doing and some situational. But whatever and wherever I looked I found that it was always up to me, myself to make that change for myself.
My house would always be immaculate and kept as I liked it – everything in place. I did it myself and had help who I had trained myself, to get me that level of satisfaction. My OCD with cleanliness and perfect orderliness leads me to get a train of staff who does just that. Kitchen is never an intimidating place though I had trained ladies for that too at one time. That process is under-construction again now. But coming back to how I liked things, I did it because it made me happy to keep my home thus. With an under-training set of new staff, I have had to strain that much more and with increasing grey hair, my patience is dwindling too. So, work seems endless because the finesse comes from only me. The others seem to be on perpetual probation!
Aha! I got my how and what of why tea break seemed a luxury. But since the indulgence gives me happiness, I decided to let go of a few cushions not being in place and the lobby sofas, as if in a confusing discussion as to where they should be placed. Critical stuff should get done first. I buy myself some respite.
My way of doing things has a system and my madness can always be defined into a well-thought-out process. For unexplainable reasons, it becomes a source of unfathomable agony for people around me to understand why steps cannot be skipped. For some processes maybe but that is only if the steps are not as important and vital in the whole process. Not when they are crucial. Also, for some unexplained reason, I find people around me and my hard-working, hands-on son cannot look five minutes into the future to understand that if a bottle of water is placed with an open cap on a wheeled trolley and there are three other people operating in the area trying to get the work done, anyone of them can miss the fact that the bottle is left open and would push the trolley violently. Water would spill and the work process would be disrupted for a quarter of an hour to say the least. When I elaborate as much, he frowns and rolls his eyes in annoyance. When it happens as I predicted he smiles wearily and dismisses it to be trivial. I find common sense the most uncommon factor in most individuals when it comes to simple life skills.
Aha! I got my how and what of why my day is endless and the work routine incessantly vexing. But since time for things, I like to do with myself are important, I have decided to let the spillages happen, the rabbit hutches put down twice extra before someone pre-empts and open the doors in time, the chaos of mopping and dusting and the incessant movement in-between all of this to happen at the pace wanted by those helping me, as it is their time that they are wasting, and it is too trivial a point to keep stressing about. Critical stuff should get done first. I buy myself some respite.
When we care for someone it is because we care. Simple as that. Why are motives cast on that process and its purposes? Comprehensions can be limited to understanding fundamental stuff and wisdom restricted to keeping one’s counsel and good sense rather than to stereotype relationships into pre-conceived notions. I do what I do for people in my life because I care for them, I cherish their presence in my life, I am fond of their company, for some are family & others have become family.
Aha! I got my how and what makes some moments in my day frustratingly agonizing and leads me to be needlessly irritable. But since there is sometimes no respite from pointless needling, unnecessary insinuations to act in a particular way – Oh the list is depressingly long, I prefer to avoid toxicity by preferring to keep my counsel by studiously dodging the noxious lot. Critical stuff should get done first. I buy myself some respite.