The palpitating hearts, the aghast thoughts are what I’m sure, is going on in the minds behind the beautiful eyes reading my Blog post today. “Oh, my dear! Let me read it first and then give her a call, what’s gotten into her….”
Beautiful eyes with the fertile minds, love you all! As you read on this cheekily titled post, you shall discover a healthy but naughty mind which has quite innocently thought up of this title. But in fairness of being guilty as charged for my play with words may have unhinged some of my closest well-wishers. Well, dearies, I’m looking for many hits on my posts in a single day, so such fiery titles are worth all the fun!
Having settled this needling but crucial issue of everything being alright (touchwood) with this pretty little head, I move on to serious business.
A casual conversation with my cousin sister, one afternoon had us discussing how to get on top of all kinds of household work as well as family expectations. And keep our personal sanities intact. I told her how I had somewhat tried to perfect the art of balancing unbelievable and unreal expectations with my inner peace and happiness. Something which I have come to call my personal “cheat lists”.
It had started years back with a sickening stomach cramps issue which led to no visible medical explanation (at least at that time for me) except a wretched feeling which stayed with me the whole day. Since I am extremely careful with what, where and how I eat, I could not explain it for days. A chance mention to my doc illuminated it for me and then I read and read on the issue. So much so that I became a walking, thinking guide, for myself, on the issue of the Irritable Bowel Syndrome. This is also when I started on my personal “cheat lists” idea. This was nothing spectacular, more of a common sense thing than anything else. Things which were important would be done, others which were not weren’t. Then those which were important were again segregated into which required finesse and those which did not. My list got further separated into important, with finesse and imperative – kind of can’t do without. The rest, I figured out was hardly worth bothering about. No one else bothered about it for me. Also, my inner peace and happiness was my property to look after and care for – must be my own ‘chowkidar’ (nothing to do with Mr. Narender Modi’s election tag line).
My personal “cheat lists”:
- Do those things which matter most, first – food on the table morning, afternoon, night – keep it simple, no need for a seven-course meal – one, no one appreciates the effort as its not seen; two, it makes you put on weight, so there’s no point.
- Prioritise your chores – get the house clean, always make sure it’s done every day so that its immaculate – if others are stressing you out at least you will have some place to sit peacefully, idyllically.
- Get right kind of gadget savvy – make sure you have machines to help you ease out the unnecessary slogging like a washing machine, a dryer, a dishwasher and umpteen such gadgets which eliminate your dependence on unreliable human beings – for ultimately apart from lip-service and moral backing, no one helps physically (at least in the Indian scenarios) and from the house to the child to your work, its just you juggling time, work or your nerves. Not worth it, believe me.
- Become a packing pro – on holidays, pack clothes which are easy to maintain. A drip dry, no ironing kind of wardrobe is advisable because sweating it out with the iron makes no sense.
- Trick iron, flatten the drudgery creases – at home, critical items may be ironed with care, the rest can be neatly folded and flat ironed just to set them straight – a night gown/pyjama will as it is slip between the sheets at night and won’t be observed in the dark!
- Shop smart, avoid contentious disagreements – stick to harmless grocery shopping, bargain hunting or supermarket runs, anything more prickly or touchy, pick-up alone – no point in making an enjoyable exercise confrontational, as it is, if it’s going to get your bank to call, to verify whether its was you who made the transaction, you’d be sure of the kind of abyss you’re in; other than that it would only be a few hundreds here or there; why make it unpleasant.
- Never give opinions, keep quiet intelligently, selectively – it never helps to be a motor mouth, give opinions on harmless topics like the weather, politics, global issues like environmental degradation, ice cap melting, etc. – everything else may be a touchy subject with family and friends; as it is no one wants to hear anyone’s opinion, its just a polite way to ascertain which fool is on your side and which isn’t. There may be exceptions – in such case enjoy being listened too.
- Never share your problems, no one cares – most end up feeling happy that theirs are less than yours and if that is your way of making the world happy, then go for it; otherwise exercise restraint.
- Never hold on to people, let go – for if they love you or want to have a slice of you, they will find a way to come back to you. Caution: but even when they do come back, proceed with prudence for it could be they are trash which no one wanted, so they found their way back to you. Be very careful of whom you open the doors of your heart and home too, wolves come easily masquerading as sheep these days. Now-a-days they have also evolved, to playing victims of situations they’ve themselves created. Be weary!
- Step away from vicious arguments with spouses, children and friends – ugly gets uglier, so take a time-out, move away – for cooling of tempers which will allow each party to review, assess and do a S.W.O.T analysis – Study. Withdraw. Objectively. Tactfully which expands to: Study the situation, which is getting ugly, then Withdraw to settle emotions, analyse Objectively the situation and finally Tactfully deal with it – works all the time. Trust me. Try it!
- Blackmail the blackmailers out of your life – never let anyone from family, at work, at home ever hold your happiness and peace of mind to ransom, beat the trash out of them by putting your peace of mind on one end of the weighing scale and their garbage on the other; if the latter tilts the scale, throw them off the scale. Believe me putting up with them/it, in such situations, is certainly not worth it. The going may get tough, but then when the going gets tough, the tough should get going! Toughen yourself up – for doormats are only for walking over & wiping the dirt off other people’s shoes, refuse to be spineless!
- Finally, Do yourself a favor each day, without fail – put aside all work, everything can wait – for your me-time is the most critical and vital moment, which is required to rejuvenate yourself, refresh your thoughts, renew your bruised emotions, restore your faith in yourself and get battle ready yet again. Dealing with the world which includes everyone around you, can get knotty, so please get untangled.
Innovate, Add, Delete and make a “cheat list” unique to you and your situation; mine keeps transmuting for I keep modifying it as the world keeps adding to my experiences, keeps handing out lessons to me or simply keeps evolving into another kind eco-sphere. I admit I am a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to this kind of adjustment but to preserve my sanity, I have figured out that I would have to evolve fast too.