Understanding Limits: The Role of Upbringing in a Fast-Changing World

In a world where virality is currency, where likes and followers determine influence, and where the lines between values and being “cool” are increasingly blurred, we find ourselves grappling with an unsettling reality. The definition of freedom of speech is being stretched, twisted, and exploited, giving rise to content that is not just cringeworthy but deeply disturbing.

The past two days have been a flood of conversations, reactions, and justifications surrounding the controversy involving a well-known YouTube content creator. What was said—under the guise of “dark humour” and “edginess”—has sparked a larger conversation about where we draw the line. In the pursuit of engagement and entertainment, are we normalizing what should never be normalized? Are we erasing the very boundaries that separate human decency from reckless insensitivity?

As I sifted through countless discussions, reactions, and analyses, I kept circling back to one core thought—parenting. The foundation of a person’s understanding of “limits” is built long before they ever step into the digital world. It is nurtured in childhood, shaped by values instilled at home, and reinforced by the environment in which one is raised.

Upbringing: The Invisible Line Between Right and Wrong

Children are not born with an inherent understanding of limits. They learn them. Some learn through discipline and meaningful conversations at home. Others, unfortunately, grow up in an environment where boundaries are blurred or non-existent. The result? Two children, raised in the same society and exposed to the same digital landscape, may grow into vastly different individuals—one who understands accountability and another who thrives on provocation, seeking validation through controversy.

I do not wish to sound self-congratulatory, but I take pride in the way I have raised my son. He has had a privileged upbringing—studying in the best schools, receiving every opportunity his parents could provide, attending a dream university in the country of his choice, and now working and living independently. Yet, despite all this, he has always known, as he does now, where to draw the line.

The reality is that delinquent behaviour—whether in the form of reckless speech, offensive humour, or outright insensitivity—is not simply a product of “changing times.”

It is a reflection of upbringing.

When a child grows up with no consequences for crossing ethical lines, when they see parents or role models laughing off problematic behaviour or adopting a “role model” persona only when convenient, they internalize the idea that there are no real limits. Everything becomes fluid, shapeshifting to serve personal interests at any given moment.

And when such individuals enter a world where attention is rewarded more than introspection, where content is consumed at lightning speed and forgotten just as quickly, they push these boundaries further—because shock value sells. Worse still, when the number of followers and subscribers leads to the false assumption that such individuals are “useful” to brands or political parties, the concoction becomes deadlier than venom.

What We Accept Today Will Define Tomorrow

The Ranveer Allahbadia controversy, like many before it, is not an isolated incident. It is a symptom of a much larger problem. If society continues to dismiss the importance of early moral conditioning, if we remain passive consumers of problematic content, if we excuse offensive remarks as mere “edginess,” we are complicit in allowing these blurred boundaries to widen further.

Some argue that cancel culture is too extreme, that people make mistakes, and that outrage culture is exhausting. But there is a difference between holding someone accountable and launching a digital witch hunt. The former is necessary. The latter is counterproductive.

As parents, educators, and responsible members of society, our role is not just to react—it is to prevent. We need to have difficult conversations with our children—not just about the dangers of social media but about values, empathy, and the power of words. We need to teach them that humour should never come at the cost of dignity, that popularity is not a measure of character, and that true success lies not in fast fame but in sustained integrity.

The power lies in raising children who can embrace the positives of a rapidly evolving ecosystem while being discerning about the content they consume, create, and share. They should be able to understand content made by their peers, analyse its impact, and, most importantly, remain comfortable with who they are—without feeling the need to chase transient digital approval.

Limits Are Not Restrictions—They Are Signs of Maturity

True freedom of speech does not mean saying whatever comes to mind without considering the consequences. It means understanding that words have power, that influence comes with responsibility, and that humour, if wielded irresponsibly, can wound rather than entertain.

This debate is not just about one individual or one incident. It is about a culture that rewards boundary-pushing without accountability. It is about a generation that must learn that just because something can be said does not mean it should be said.

So, the question remains:

Which limit?
What limit?
Why limit?
How limit?

The answer is simple. Limits define us. They separate recklessness from responsibility, arrogance from wisdom, and noise from meaningful dialogue. And the foundation of these limits is built at home.

If we fail to instil this understanding in our children today, we will find ourselves in a world where anything goes—until nothing remains sacred.

It starts with upbringing. It starts with us.

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#ThinkBeforeYouSpeak

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#FutureStartsAtHome