A reality check with ‘real’!
Years ago, I realized that most of the people around me did not mean what they said. I was also surprised to realize that what I saw was not their real self either. It surprised me because I was always what I was – morning and night, today and tomorrow, BC (Before Contentment) and AD (After Disillusionment) and shall remain thus ever after (if there is any such era!).
Bottom line of my observation was a disbelief because I was always brought up saying what I meant and meaning what I said. My world existed in black and white of universal truths and accepted behaviors and leave alone color, there was never even a grey in-between. I have said that to many over a period of time. Needless to add, no one seemed to believe me when I was with them. Unfortunately, they believe it only once I am gone from their lives. But then, not being one to cry over spilt milk or enabling childish, melodramatic reactions, I always move on by the time people realize this. For me then, their opinion does not matter anyways neither does their realization. If you lost me as a friend and mentor, then it is your loss not mine. My mentoring was for the benefit of all those who wanted to learn the honorable & principled approaches of being an educator. And my guidance was universal for everyone. Very few took my counsel and the rest tried to dig potholes along the way.
When people try to lay landmines for others and thrive on bigotry, I find myself weary of such individuals but people who deem to control ‘power’ oft mistake that for loyalty. Many of us forget that when someone is snitching about someone to you, then it comes from a habit rather than any love for you. If they can do it for someone else, they would surely be doing it for you too. Having the courage to call a spade a spade is one thing. Being able to take that spade and use it to knock some sense into them is entirely fabled stuff. Believe me I have been there. Many a times. Ruffled a lot of feathers and made some really important people, importantly uncomfortable. But I had moral immunity.
It has become hilarious over time how certain qualities which as a person you may be enormously proud-off to have, are considered liabilities and I have had ‘spades’ wanting to be called anything else but that!!
‘Real’ takes on an entirely new meaning as it passes through the realms of the 21st century thought processes. It takes on new meaning at every turn of a New Year as 31st December tries to sneak past 1st January. Many a junkie promises to make it a part of their everyday operations around this time with little or no success. Yet it is a valued asset in all resolution lists. Looks nice sitting there looking very ‘real’!!
But ‘real’ has its own limitations and can get ‘real’ only as much. For on its own it is another thought and word and takes on a powerful meaning only when implemented through the life and actions of an individual.
Wonder if anyone of us is left who still have the ‘Jigar’ to be real in this artificial, make-belief world. May those with the hutzpah raise their hands. (I see but a few; may our tribe increase!)
Keeping my realities close to my heart while keeping myself as real as possible!!